Being Grateful… It Does Make A Difference

Posted on by armorupnow

By Jay Dobyns – ATF Agent (ret.), Best Selling Author and National Keynote Speaker

For those unfamiliar with Jay’s story, he was a federal agent for 27 years.  He developed into an elite undercover operator who focused his efforts on violent suspects.  Late in his career he experienced a massive amount of credible death threats from criminals that he had investigated.  His agency failed to react properly and when he challenged them, they retaliated against him in a dreadful way.  He filed a lawsuit and won behind the facts, evidence and testimony to prove the abuse.  His trial court victory was appealed by the government and ultimately overturned.

The truth was not enough to overcome a legal interpretation of law.  The appellate court ruled that, although unfortunate, there was no law or contract to prevent his agency from unmasking the location of his residence, failing to respond when arsonists burned his home to the ground (characterized by some as a failed assassination attempt), and then doubling down and corruptly trying to frame Jay as the arsonist.  For 15 years Jay fought for justice and accountability for himself and all lawmen and women.  Jay has been a regular contributor to the Safe Call Now mission.  Below is an essay he wrote for our friends and audience after learning that at the end of this tragic journey, he had lost.  Jay is not only a warrior and survivor, he’s also very #grateful for his journey.

Grateful

“A lie doesn’t become the truth, a wrong doesn’t become right, and bad doesn’t become good simply because the majority [or a court] says so.” – Booker T. Washington

Elegant words from an incredible man who overcame unimaginable amounts of adversity.  His words speak to the idea of fairness.

The bottom-line truth and fact is that life deals us hardships.  Failures.  Defeats.  Often, they are undeserved.

Fairness loses its importance if we can find a way to be grateful in all that comes our way.

I’ll add my own, less profound, quote: “Fair is where you go eat cotton candy or pin a ribbon on a cow. There is no such thing is life as ‘fair’.”

What we do in difficult times and with undeserved circumstances are what defines us.  Not the event itself, but how we react and respond to it.

Gratefulness has been my solution.

Be grateful for your challenges.  They deliver lessons to learn from.

Be grateful for your adversaries.  They create opportunity.

Be grateful for your failures.  Losing forces humility.

Be grateful in defeat.  It builds graciousness.

Be grateful for your support, your friends, your family.  Hardships reveal who trusts and believes in you.

Life is a roller coaster (my kids are sick of this lecture, but I’ve delivered to them repeatedly over their lifetimes).  When things are good, enjoy it because it will not last forever.  When things are bad, hang on because they will get good again.  Repeat.  The cycle is endless.

For anyone struggling – addiction, suicide, loss of a loved one, illness, injury, abuse, unfairness – if you search hard enough, a silver lining is there.  We may have to over-reach to find it but stretching to learn something good in something bad is worth the effort.

For me, I’ve learned to be grateful to God.  Not a day has passed where I didn’t ask for strength or guidance.  Not a day went by when it wasn’t delivered.  God’s plans for us are perfect, even when we can’t understand them.

 

Jay Dobyns is the author of two bestselling books, No Angel – My Harrowing Undercover Journey to the Inner Circle of the Hells Angels, and, Catching Hell – A True Story of Abandonment and Betrayal.  Jay is also a Safe Call Now presenter/trainer.

He can be found at www.jaydobyns.com; Facebook at www.facebook.com/jadobyns ; Instagram at www.instagram.com/dobynsjay/ ; Twitter at https://twitter.com/JayDobyns ; LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/jay-dobyns-43a9024/

If you, someone you love or someone you know needs help, call:

Safe Call Now:  24 Hour Confidential Hotline:  206-459-3020

For more information on the First Responders program:  Click here

Or call Shannon Clairemont at 661-466-6352 or Vanessa Stapleton at 304-651-3008

 

Published by armorupnow

Sean Riley is the Founder and President of Safe Call Now, a confidential, comprehensive, 24-hour crisis referral service for public safety employees, all emergency services personnel and their family members nationwide. Safe Call Now was started in 2009 after legislation was passed guaranteeing confidentiality nationwide for all who call the Safe Call Now crisis line that is staffed by current and former first responders. Sean played baseball for San Diego State University and graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Public Administration. He started his law enforcement career as a San Diego County Deputy Sheriff in 1987 and later relocated to Washington State in 1990. Sean spent over 16 years with the Kirkland Police Department. His many accomplishments include being a member of the International Homicide Investigator's Association, Homicide and Sexual Assault Detective, Interview and Interrogation Specialist, D.A.R.E. Officer, Gang Officer and Certified Training Officer. Riley is also credited with solving one of the first ever elder abuse homicide cases in the nation. Sean's prominent career in law enforcement ended in 2005 when he could no longer hide his "secret" behind the badge. Sean threw away his almost 20-year stellar police career due to alcohol and drug addiction and was headed towards suicide to become just another unknown statistic. In addition to attending college for substance abuse counseling, Sean worked as a supervisor at a local treatment center where he witnessed many public safety employees coming in and out of treatment. Riley decided to do something about it. From his own experience, he knew that first responders wanted to come forward to help, but due to the stigma attached, they would not. Admitting to a substance abuse or mental health problem is perceived as a sign of weakness and could result in the termination from a noble career. By creating a safe and confidential place to reach out for help, first responders are now coming forward in droves from around the nation to better their lives, better their families and better their careers. Recognized as a dynamic national keynote speaker, Sean travels throughout the country to share his inspirational story. Coupled with cutting edge, interactive training, Riley hits those once thought of as "taboo" or "controversial" topics head-on. "Safe Call Now provides education, healthy alternatives, resources and a complete continuum of care to save lives and put families back together. Through a collaborative effort, Safe Call Now has discovered when you provide an opportunity for an individual to get their life and their family back, you get one great employee back out serving the public." - Sean Riley, Founder/President

One thought on “Being Grateful… It Does Make A Difference”

  1. Never met Jay Dobyns, but I worked with Sean Riley at the treatment facility mentioned above. He is walking talking evidence that addiction is no respecter of persons. Sean always took the high road and is a force to be reckoned with. After treatment he set out to change a broken system. As a result thousands of addicted public safety officers (female and male) have stepped forward, made a confidential call, and today (much wiser) are back on the job serving our public needs. Sean sounds too good to be true. He’s not. He is no saint. What he is is stubborn to a fault and where it counts fearless. For more on Sean see the book, just out, Toward Happier Choices on Amazon.com books.

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