Reflecting Back After 15 years…

By Sean Riley – President & Founder Safe Call Now

March 17th, 2005 – St. Patrick’s Day… a time for celebration, fun and cheer.  For me, not so much, rather a time of self-reflection.  I wasn’t planning on writing this blog by any means until I realized what day it was and that it was the worst day of my life.  15 years ago today I was indicted by the U.S. Federal Government for Prescription Fraud and turned myself into the United States Marshals Service (USMS) in downtown Seattle, WA to be arrested.   Looking back, I was really arrogant and cocky, not believing any of this was going to impact my life in any way, I was a cop…  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

When I entered the US Courthouse I was immediately taken into custody and placed into waist chains and leg irons.  The ones I had put on everyone else for the almost past 20 years.  I remember getting my booking photo and fingerprints taken and pathetically how difficult it was to walk in leg irons.  Sadly I wasn’t too worried at the time because I was a “Cop” and I was bulletproof or so I thought?  I sat in a holding cell for hours waiting to be brought in front of a judge and was so hungry and remember a court officer brought me a brown bag lunch that had a tuna sandwich in it.  Why I remember this I have no idea but it was just me and that tuna sandwich as I watched other inmates being transported to and from court in their orange jumpsuits.

Again, I wasn’t worried, that was them and I was a “Cop”.  The rules and laws applied to them and not to me or so I thought. I stood before Judge Marsha Pechman as she read off the indictments to me and the maximum sentence of 21 years in prison, it still didn’t register with me.  I was going to beat these charges.  I look back now and realize this was just delusional thinking, and I was in full blown addiction.  I’m no longer the “cop” I’m just an addict like anyone else.  A hard truth to swallow.

Fast forward to today and looking back over these past 15 years, I have caused a lot of damage and I have done a lot of good.  A blessing and a curse.  I’m grateful for so many things and there are still many things I regret that I’m working through and will do so for the rest of my life.

Here’s what I know and what I have learned on this incredible journey.  I’ve met some of the most incredible people in my life, I’ve also met some of the worst people in my life.  Given time they usually always show their colors.  Each is a blessing because they all have taught me something and I’ve learned from each of them.  Failure is a key component of my life because I always learn something from each failure and try and get better.  Relationships, they are the key to life, what I do with them is up to me.  The most important thing I’ve learned is that my personal relationship with myself is the key to life.

So to everyone out there I have met on this journey…  Thank you, I’m grateful for you and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for letting me be a part of your life.

If you, someone you love or someone you know needs help, call:

Safe Call Now:  24 Hour Confidential Hotline:  206-459-3020

For more information on the First Responders program:  Click here

Or call Shannon Clairemont at 661-466-6352 or Vanessa Stapleton at 304-651-3008

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