Reflecting Back After 15 years…

Posted on by armorupnow

By Sean Riley – President & Founder Safe Call Now

March 17th, 2005 – St. Patrick’s Day… a time for celebration, fun and cheer.  For me, not so much, rather a time of self-reflection.  I wasn’t planning on writing this blog by any means until I realized what day it was and that it was the worst day of my life.  15 years ago today I was indicted by the U.S. Federal Government for Prescription Fraud and turned myself into the United States Marshals Service (USMS) in downtown Seattle, WA to be arrested.   Looking back, I was really arrogant and cocky, not believing any of this was going to impact my life in any way, I was a cop…  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

When I entered the US Courthouse I was immediately taken into custody and placed into waist chains and leg irons.  The ones I had put on everyone else for the almost past 20 years.  I remember getting my booking photo and fingerprints taken and pathetically how difficult it was to walk in leg irons.  Sadly I wasn’t too worried at the time because I was a “Cop” and I was bulletproof or so I thought?  I sat in a holding cell for hours waiting to be brought in front of a judge and was so hungry and remember a court officer brought me a brown bag lunch that had a tuna sandwich in it.  Why I remember this I have no idea but it was just me and that tuna sandwich as I watched other inmates being transported to and from court in their orange jumpsuits.

Again, I wasn’t worried, that was them and I was a “Cop”.  The rules and laws applied to them and not to me or so I thought. I stood before Judge Marsha Pechman as she read off the indictments to me and the maximum sentence of 21 years in prison, it still didn’t register with me.  I was going to beat these charges.  I look back now and realize this was just delusional thinking, and I was in full blown addiction.  I’m no longer the “cop” I’m just an addict like anyone else.  A hard truth to swallow.

Fast forward to today and looking back over these past 15 years, I have caused a lot of damage and I have done a lot of good.  A blessing and a curse.  I’m grateful for so many things and there are still many things I regret that I’m working through and will do so for the rest of my life.

Here’s what I know and what I have learned on this incredible journey.  I’ve met some of the most incredible people in my life, I’ve also met some of the worst people in my life.  Given time they usually always show their colors.  Each is a blessing because they all have taught me something and I’ve learned from each of them.  Failure is a key component of my life because I always learn something from each failure and try and get better.  Relationships, they are the key to life, what I do with them is up to me.  The most important thing I’ve learned is that my personal relationship with myself is the key to life.

So to everyone out there I have met on this journey…  Thank you, I’m grateful for you and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for letting me be a part of your life.

If you, someone you love or someone you know needs help, call:

Safe Call Now:  24 Hour Confidential Hotline:  206-459-3020

For more information on the First Responders program:  Click here

Or call Shannon Clairemont at 661-466-6352 or Vanessa Stapleton at 304-651-3008

Published by armorupnow

Sean Riley is the Founder and President of Safe Call Now, a confidential, comprehensive, 24-hour crisis referral service for public safety employees, all emergency services personnel and their family members nationwide. Safe Call Now was started in 2009 after legislation was passed guaranteeing confidentiality nationwide for all who call the Safe Call Now crisis line that is staffed by current and former first responders. Sean played baseball for San Diego State University and graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Public Administration. He started his law enforcement career as a San Diego County Deputy Sheriff in 1987 and later relocated to Washington State in 1990. Sean spent over 16 years with the Kirkland Police Department. His many accomplishments include being a member of the International Homicide Investigator's Association, Homicide and Sexual Assault Detective, Interview and Interrogation Specialist, D.A.R.E. Officer, Gang Officer and Certified Training Officer. Riley is also credited with solving one of the first ever elder abuse homicide cases in the nation. Sean's prominent career in law enforcement ended in 2005 when he could no longer hide his "secret" behind the badge. Sean threw away his almost 20-year stellar police career due to alcohol and drug addiction and was headed towards suicide to become just another unknown statistic. In addition to attending college for substance abuse counseling, Sean worked as a supervisor at a local treatment center where he witnessed many public safety employees coming in and out of treatment. Riley decided to do something about it. From his own experience, he knew that first responders wanted to come forward to help, but due to the stigma attached, they would not. Admitting to a substance abuse or mental health problem is perceived as a sign of weakness and could result in the termination from a noble career. By creating a safe and confidential place to reach out for help, first responders are now coming forward in droves from around the nation to better their lives, better their families and better their careers. Recognized as a dynamic national keynote speaker, Sean travels throughout the country to share his inspirational story. Coupled with cutting edge, interactive training, Riley hits those once thought of as "taboo" or "controversial" topics head-on. "Safe Call Now provides education, healthy alternatives, resources and a complete continuum of care to save lives and put families back together. Through a collaborative effort, Safe Call Now has discovered when you provide an opportunity for an individual to get their life and their family back, you get one great employee back out serving the public." - Sean Riley, Founder/President